One factor to consider in dating is how long should the dating relationship go on. One or both individuals will in some way have to decide whether to continue to make time, and agreeing to spend money to keep going out on dates. This question can be answered by individuals who decide to ‘hook up.’
By so doing, individuals who are dating and who decide to ‘hook-up’ have pretty much by default decided that their dating relationship is going to be a short term experience. That’s because a ‘hook-up’ is understood to be a short term association.
Dating that involves hooking up evolved among college students and young, working adults. It seemed to evolve in part from the stress and frustration in the search for finding a date for a long term relationship seemed possible or probable. When there was a failure to find such dates, people felt even more pressured as time passed and their age increased. Additionally, not having a steady date invariably meant that periods of loneliness would happen.
But by meeting someone who is friendly and you can get along with, both of you can agree to hook-up, to become friends, be intimately involved and to have fun. By hooking up, individuals don’t bother with concerns about issues such as a long term relationship, or of spending time together to determine if a long term relationship will develop.
Dating someone who you have hooked up with means that you both have decided to be together to have someone to share time with and have intimate sexual relations.
Regular dating involves individuals spending time together. But a lot of people will be very careful and will take a reasonable length of time to get to know a date before deciding to be very intimate with that person.
Dating that involves hooking-up can therefore get very intense. But despite this intense nature, dating that involves hooking-up is not demanding. Individuals who hook- up tend to not become preoccupied with larger issues such as having and meeting expectations of a long term or serious relationship.
As previously mentioned, hook-up by nature refers to a short term situation. So long as that’s understood, it means that any issues that relate to dating over a long term period shouldn’t arise.
If long term matters or issues related to prolonged dating come up it’s probable that issue will cause the dating and hook-up to end. In a sense, introducing long-term issues into a short term dating agreement is breaking what was agreed upon.
Short term dates that involve hooking-up and regular dating do have s similarity that they can also come to an end if one or both of the individuals who are hooked up meet someone new. The short term date would have then run its course and it would be time for both individuals to move on.
Dating that involves hooking up clearly has some advantages and disadvantages. The advantages include the absence of pressure and of stress to try to please someone. There’s also the advantage of not being lonely, of having someone to share fun with and to not have to think about or look too far into the future.
Not having to think much about the future while engaged in hook-up dating is somewhat of a two edged sword.
The disadvantage is the future comes closer every day and it can’t be avoided. Time that’s spent now and that ignores the future is time that’s lost and which can’t be regained. But if you’re having fun it may not matter.
An added disadvantage of hook-up dating specifically related to females is that it can cause an individual to be labeled as promiscuous, which is a big negative factor. Although it’s not as big a deal now as it used to be. Girls just want to have fun to.
Like so many things therefore, short term dating or ‘hook-ups’ have some positive aspects. But as an individual, you have to consider what’s be best for you. You also have to weigh the advantage and the disadvantages to make sure you aren’t sabotaging your future long-term dating prospects for a short term relationship.
